Dear Mini Molly,
I can see you...sitting there, at your desk in your room. Algebra book splayed, paper smudged with eraser marks, and your pencil is dangling lifelessly between your fingers as it contemplates jumping from the cliff of frustration and defeat. You're trying your best to hold your head in your hand in just the right position so that nobody can see the tears that are spilling over your cheeks. Only I can know that inside your head, you're fighting a battle. There's a war raging between a cancerous defeat and an incessant expectation to persevere.
As you hang there by a tenuous strand of variables and exponents, your shoulders are slumping more and more, your whimsical hair is showing signs of nervous twirling (you STILL do that...STOP IT.), and you slowly slide your head down and rest it against the cool, unforgiving desktop. I know you want to give up, you want to scream, you want to slam the book shut and throw it....yes, yes, that would make you feel better wouldn't it??!! Algebra is never going to be easy for you; I can promise you that. It's the going to be the nemesis that taints your Freshman year and scars your overall GPA for your entire high school path. Here comes dad....he's going to check your answer for the problem he asked you to do.....that you haven't even started. I'm wondering if this is a good time to tell you that Algebra is not the first, nor the last, struggling encounter you're going to have?
You're going to face many, many more situations where you'll have a choice to submit to defeat, or push through the doubt and fear to ensure you arrive at the finish. When you leave for college and your heart is aching for family and home, your sister will be the close by face of love and assurance that will get you through. When one of your most cherished friends from high school loses his life in a car accident, his mom and the friends you shared will remind you of his goodness and the happiness he gave to all. When you watch your sister and her husband say goodbye to their son, your nephew, after only 24 hours of life, a guy named AJ, who will be your fiance`, will pick up the pieces of your broken heart and slowly put it back together. (PS...he's a good one!) When you and AJ, married with a 4-month old son you will name Logan, decide to pack up your life and move to East Tennessee where you know nobody, your Mom, Dad, and friends Seth and Pete will make the journey with you to ensure you get settled into the next chapter of your life. When AJ has to have heart surgery at the age of 31, it will be the prayers of your church family and the support of your in-laws at your side that will carry you through the six hour long surgery and hold up you when you're crying out your fear in the parking garage of the Cleveland Clinic. And lastly, when you have no choice but to walk away from the perceived stability of a career, and close, meaningful friendships, all of these people and so many more will wrap you up in the fuzzy, warm blanket of love and support. They will hand you tissues when you cry, pray with you when you pray, laugh with you when you laugh, and do the "happy dance" and jump and celebrate when you celebrate in victory over your struggles. In each one of these instances, notice that are always two common elements.
First, in each instance, you will have the choice to succumb to defeat or dust off the dirt and put one foot in front of the other towards the finish. You're a fighter girl...but let me tell ya', you suck at asking for help. You try to do too much on your own. Secondly, you often confuse the need for strength with weakness, when in actuality you get your strength comes from those around you. See, so many people give up on God because they feel like they don't have enough "hard evidence" or the "right answers to their questions"...but when you can reach out for an extended hand to pull you up...what more proof do you need?? He lives in all of us who invite Him in...and then He uses us all to wrap each other up in His really big love-hugs that sustain and give strength to keep going. Having to rely on others doesn't mean you're weak, it means your strength rest in something much bigger than you alone. Yeah, you're going to hurt, you'll learn what friends do and don't do, and those closest to you will let you down. But life without them would mean a life with some of the best moments you're going to experience...so allow forgiveness to cover your hurts, leave behind what's not good, and take the extended hands that will help you up.
You're going to make it Lil' Molls. You're going to be alright. Algebra will soon pass and be a distant memory that you end up relying on when you're sitting face to face with the frustrated Algebra student you're tutoring. Just remember to smile and laugh....and ALWAYS share them with others. God did not intend life to be done alone....so quit thinking you've got to do this all on your onesie. Revel and share in the strength of His loving family. Ask for help, not because you can't do something, but because you want to learn, get stronger, and be ready to extend a hand to someone else.
You Go Girl,
Grown-Up Molls
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