Like many of you, I love to read. So much so that my family got me an e-reader for Mother's day. I couldn't have been more excited to dig into every book I could electronically get my hands on! I recently finished reading a book entitled Memoirs Aren't Fairytales: A Story of Addiction by Marni Mann. It was in the "FREE" section on the Amazon books list and since the ability to judge a book by its cover is somewhat hampered by an e-reader, I thought, "Eh, what the heck?".
The main character, Nicole, is painted as any other young adult confused by college and wandering the world. As the story builds, Nicole gradually becomes more and more addicted to drugs, whether it's pills, weed, cocaine, or heroin, she sinks into the abyss of addiction. Her body, mind, spirit, and relationships deteriorate rapidly at the choking hands of her need to "get the next hit". Nicole's addiction brings down many innocent people in its wake and destroys what's left of her life. Addiction swallows every part of her and the pieces of her beautiful, human tapestry go along with it. She ends up hating the person she sees in the mirror and thinking that nobody could love someone who's so dirty, broken, and trashed....she couldn't be further from the truth. My heart broke as I read this because Christ loves her. PERIOD.
I must admit, I started off not really taking this book too seriously. It was something I was just going to do to take a break from the "forbidden trilogy" I had was reading. As I continued reading it though, something occurred to me. Addiction is something each person experiences at some time or another in some way, shape, or form. "HOW DARE YOU!" you might say, but really, stop and think. Addiction doesn't have to be in the form of a drug or something "bad", like us humans, it can be disguised something harmless or even "beneficial". The list is endless: shopping, video games, media, food, exercise, sex, reading, hobbies, cell phones, games, sports, power, authority, gadgets, and on and on and on..... The real question is not what is one addicted to, it's WHY.
The motivation for an addiction is the overall seed that needs to be addressed. Maybe you aren't addicted to exercise because you want to feel good, it's more because you want to be the eye-catching prize everyone looks at. Or maybe shopping is not so much about people-watching, it's more about finding something that someone else doesn't have to get more attention. Is watching ESPN 24/7 merely for the "love of the game" and/or "relaxation" or is it more about what team one is rooting for having "one up" on a team someone else roots for. In the end...no matter what the addiction is, it ends up back at one thing....selfishness.
The seeds of addiction are actually present in all of us. Whether or not they grow is really up to what we feed them. We are crafty creatures and can dress addiction up in pretty phrases like, "I just like to feel good about myself", or "I don't do it that often", or "At least I'm doing it in the comfort of my home...", but it is all really the same thing...divisive. If something causes a repeated debate and division between you and someone you love, push the pause button on your instant "defend" reaction and think..."If this isn't really about me...why do I care so damn much about defending it?". Or better yet, "What am I so afraid of if I don't get my (insert addiction here) today?"
Time is something we can never get back, as well as relationships with those called home before us. Addiction can take away both, even if it is disguised as "good" or "healthy". It takes some real hard work and wearing the proverbial "big boy/girl" panties to acknowledge, accept, and address real possibilities for change. I'm not proposing to clear out things that can do good in your life, I'm merely saying that if it is detrimental to your body (inside you really know it), or if it stands between you and God (or maker), spouse, or family....step back, pause, and reflect. Ask God to reveal the "happy medium" that considers all parties. The chains that bind an anchor to a ship to keep it in safely in place (a good thing), are made of the same material(s) and concept as the ones that chain a slave to its master.
"Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?" (Romans 6:16--ESV)
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