I imagine at one point in time we have all been asked "Who is your hero?". For me? It's always been my dad....hands down. Every little girl looks to her daddy as the one who hung the sun,moon AND stars and he can do NO wrong because he is too busy walking on water right after conquering the world. Heroes are important, but better yet, who IS your hero?
For a woman, when she leaves her mother and father and marries a man who has vowed to love, honor, and protect her, it is his way of signing on to be her hero, or die trying. It's the "die trying" part that really matters. A wife's greatest need is to be loved, but HOW a man shows her love can vary. Some see it in words, others in actions, and some in the way we're touched. Me??? I am a mix of ALL of those! But I have found myself picking and choosing which of those to pay attention to at times. It's funny how we can blatantly ignore some of the most obvious things when our selfish side is in the driver's seat.
I do not mean for this to be a commercial for my husband, AJ, because if you already know him, you're sold! One thing that a hero is NOT is perfect. In any great super hero movie or story, at one point the hero takes a little bit of a beating. It's the author's way of personifying the hero so that the viewer or reader can identify with him or her. Take a closer look though, when the hero gets up, their cape may be ripped, their uniform may be torn, their really cool gadgets may malfunction....but they keep fighting for their cause. That's AJ.
AJ would die trying to do ANYTHING for anyone who just so much as smiles at him. This man has been railroaded by people, myself included, in the past and he STILL remains friends with them. Now, the level of investment with that person may vary, but it really depends on how much time and effort that person puts back into him. And trust me... AJ doesn't expect much! He would single-handedly give someone the shirt off his very back if they needed it. This is a man who has swallowed his pride, given his heart, been through enough physical and emotional pain for one lifetime, and offered forgiveness time and time again to those who have hurt him. This is a man who day in and day out works with people who have been convicted of drug abuse, domestic violence, homicide, theft, animal cruelty...you name it....he's seen it. Some may get upset because he "doesn't move fast enough" or do things in the most efficient manner, but if by taking a few extra minutes with a person to offer help and maintaining even the smallest sliver of faith in their reformation when nobody else will slows him down, so be it. He deals with the people that have made the rest of us scared to leave our houses, let our kids play outside, or walk after dark....and he STILL treats them with humility. You want forgiveness lined with justice? AJ can give it. And the most amazing thing is that when he comes home, he still has a kiss and hug for each one of us.
If it's all about the "die trying" part....well, he does that too. Recently, my car had some issues with the brakes. He has fixed them in a minimal way before, but there was still more work to be done. In an effort to save money for this family trying to make it these days, he plowed through replacing ALL FOUR BRAKES on my car this weekend. This is a man who doesn't have any formal training in the mechanical workings of a vehicle....or it's stopping mechanisms!!! But, where some people would shutter back in fear and say "Oh honey, why don't you just take it down to the shop and pay a BAGILLION dollars to have them do that in 15 minutes", for some reason, I felt his determination to do it on his own. He spent all day after church yesterday outside, greasy, eaten alive by mosquitoes, sporting a headache, all in the name of the safety of his wife and kids. If I am being honest.....I never once doubted that he could do it. There was a perfect peace in me that knew, AJ would get it done and he won't rest until it is. God had his hand in all of it folks. Our neighbor poked his head in a few times to offer a hand when AJ needed it. He has worked on cars his whole life and.....also works for O'Reilly's...so $230 worth of car parts amounted to $111 for the Kales. THAT'S God people. I am NOT ashamed to say it either, YOU TUBE is AWESOME! Tonight AJ finished the other side of the car and VOILA! It could stop on a dime! After removing the rear wheel only to find that a rear cylinder had exploded and my brake fluid was in a puddle on the ground with NONE left in the car....AJ's determination paid off! To the tune of saving us $600+ in parts and labor. He could have been the lazy butt who laid on the couch and not wanted to give up his time on the weekend, and watched his wife drive away in an unsafe vehicle with his two babies in the backseat....but he didn't. He was determined to give it his best efforts and die trying.
The best part though? He won't let me test drive until he does first. He puts himself in potential harms way because according to him, "If this car won't stop I want it to be me in it and not you". Do you love someone so much that you would get into a car, not sure if it will stop or not, and take off down the road? Would you play Russian Roulette with a handgun for the person you love??? It's a little like that.
So if a hero is what I want, TWO heroes is what I got. My dad and my husband are my heroes and their capes are flapping in the wind! (NO tights please!) The greatest thing about them is that they are BOTH men after the heart of Christ. They model their sacrificial love after the hero who gave it all for them. I know fixing cars may be small beans to some, but to me, it meant everything. I have not always done everything right, I've not always told and showed AJ how much I love him, and I have definitely wronged him in ways that are beyond human reproach. But, he always comes back to me with forgiveness lined with justice, and for that, he is my hero!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Remission....it's not just a stage of healing, it's a state of mind... Kale style.
As many of you know, my father-in-law Jim, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer last Fall. It took us all by surprise and we waited with intense trepidation with each report and test. My husband, AJ, who is Jim's only offspring (I think AJ did him in on the idea of having more....!) began taking steps to be involved with his dad's fight against Cancer. Jim underwent surgeries, chemo, and much more.
One thing Jim did NOT undergo, was a defeated attitude. From the start Jim was very realistic, yet confident and firm in his resolution to beat what many thought was unbeatable. When Jim was down for a visit several months ago, he told us that he told his doctor "I got two grandkids to watch grow up so I ain't fu*&%ng going anywhere!" Despite how some people may feel, Jim had it right. So many times I see people get diagnosed with Cancer, and they STOP. They stop trying, loving, taking care of themselves, and living in general. Jim never did that. He did his chemo and went through the joys that come along with that, but he did it. Meanwhile, he took time out to LIVE. He went to Florida and laid back on a boat and soaked up some rays with his family and friends. He came to Tennessee to see his family and laughed with his grandkids. He continues to forge ahead with a bravery that is unmatched. He may shrug it off and say "well, what the hell else am I gonna do??", but that is just Kale-speak for "I plan on kicking it's A#$ and then we'll eat!" (Mind you, you may have hearing lose after this as well...they're very passionate about meal time and a whisper to them is more like a bull horn for most)
I am happy to say that as of yesterday...TEN MONTHS after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer....Jim is in remission! Celebration? Oh yes. Relief? You bet your buns. Praise Jesus? I'm on my knees. My point is, Jim was determined to not let Cancer determine his life. He let his life determine how much attention, no...dwelling, was spent on Cancer. His state of mind was one of determination and drive, yet not forgetting to live life and enjoy the things that make you happy. For Jim, it's his family and friends. His life is centered around making everyone else happy, which in turns makes him happy. We should all take on Jim's state of mind.
Remission is defined as "A diminution of the seriousness or intensity of disease or pain; a temporary recovery". Temporary? WHO CARES! Because temporary is a very ambiguous time frame that I know Jim is going to take FULL advantage of! And because of that, I know not only will AJ and I get to enjoy seeing Jim happy, but our two kids will get to see Grandpa Jim Bob living life and actually enjoying it, rather than putting one foot in the grave and waiting for the last rites to be read.
Remission may be a state of "temporary" healing...medically speaking that is. BUT, I think in most situations, if we focus on the END result or desired outcome, it drives us to move faster and closer to it until we land right, smack in the middle of it. Jim put his mind "in the state of remission" and therefore that is where he now exists, both mentally AND physically. That's no feat people! I am so proud to be Jim's daughter-in-law. I draw courage from his strength and take pride in my husband and kids doing so as well. Who else can say that they fought Stage 4 Liver Cancer and put it in remission in a mere 10 months??!! Not many.
So Jim??? I salute, bow, hats off, high five, thumbs up, smile, and most of all hug you tonight! Why? Because you are so intricately sewn into the man I love, thus into my children. I know I often use the line "I'm only here by marriage" as a wise-crack to dismiss something worthy of being dismissed, but truly I say to you, I have never been more proud to be a Kale. We love you and can't wait to see you Grandpa Jim Bob!
One thing Jim did NOT undergo, was a defeated attitude. From the start Jim was very realistic, yet confident and firm in his resolution to beat what many thought was unbeatable. When Jim was down for a visit several months ago, he told us that he told his doctor "I got two grandkids to watch grow up so I ain't fu*&%ng going anywhere!" Despite how some people may feel, Jim had it right. So many times I see people get diagnosed with Cancer, and they STOP. They stop trying, loving, taking care of themselves, and living in general. Jim never did that. He did his chemo and went through the joys that come along with that, but he did it. Meanwhile, he took time out to LIVE. He went to Florida and laid back on a boat and soaked up some rays with his family and friends. He came to Tennessee to see his family and laughed with his grandkids. He continues to forge ahead with a bravery that is unmatched. He may shrug it off and say "well, what the hell else am I gonna do??", but that is just Kale-speak for "I plan on kicking it's A#$ and then we'll eat!" (Mind you, you may have hearing lose after this as well...they're very passionate about meal time and a whisper to them is more like a bull horn for most)
I am happy to say that as of yesterday...TEN MONTHS after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer....Jim is in remission! Celebration? Oh yes. Relief? You bet your buns. Praise Jesus? I'm on my knees. My point is, Jim was determined to not let Cancer determine his life. He let his life determine how much attention, no...dwelling, was spent on Cancer. His state of mind was one of determination and drive, yet not forgetting to live life and enjoy the things that make you happy. For Jim, it's his family and friends. His life is centered around making everyone else happy, which in turns makes him happy. We should all take on Jim's state of mind.
Remission is defined as "A diminution of the seriousness or intensity of disease or pain; a temporary recovery". Temporary? WHO CARES! Because temporary is a very ambiguous time frame that I know Jim is going to take FULL advantage of! And because of that, I know not only will AJ and I get to enjoy seeing Jim happy, but our two kids will get to see Grandpa Jim Bob living life and actually enjoying it, rather than putting one foot in the grave and waiting for the last rites to be read.
Remission may be a state of "temporary" healing...medically speaking that is. BUT, I think in most situations, if we focus on the END result or desired outcome, it drives us to move faster and closer to it until we land right, smack in the middle of it. Jim put his mind "in the state of remission" and therefore that is where he now exists, both mentally AND physically. That's no feat people! I am so proud to be Jim's daughter-in-law. I draw courage from his strength and take pride in my husband and kids doing so as well. Who else can say that they fought Stage 4 Liver Cancer and put it in remission in a mere 10 months??!! Not many.
So Jim??? I salute, bow, hats off, high five, thumbs up, smile, and most of all hug you tonight! Why? Because you are so intricately sewn into the man I love, thus into my children. I know I often use the line "I'm only here by marriage" as a wise-crack to dismiss something worthy of being dismissed, but truly I say to you, I have never been more proud to be a Kale. We love you and can't wait to see you Grandpa Jim Bob!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Allow myself to introduce....myself..!
Well, here I am. This is my first shot at the whole "blogging" thing, so truth be told, I don't know exactly what to expect. But, I am willing to try anything once, so here goes!
One might ask, why would a Joe Nobody like you want to start a blog? Honestly, no clue! It's not that I have any vastly important, Earth-shattering words of wisdom to share or have theories or "tricks" to make this roller coaster ride we call life any easier. But, I DO have experiences....and that is what I believe connects humans to each other.
I am absolutely NOT 100 years old with tons of experiences that will ratify life in the future, but I have experienced and will experience things that elicit emotions in myself and others. I firmly believe that experiences and emotions bind us together as humans. That bond needs to be cultivated and fostered everyday. No matter if the experiences we share are not so great or fabulous, sharing them and how we work through them breeds invaluable bonds.
As I sit here typing this, I see a small family living in a small, very modest home in East Tennessee. We don't have a huge house, or shiny new cars, or tons of luxuries to share with the world. BUT, we DO have an immeasurable amount of love within these walls. I will not lie to you....there are days when I want to throw my hands up and run for the hills, just because it is sure to be more quiet there. As an adult with ADHD, noise creates chaos in my head, and that often means I spin out of control. What brings me back? My husband. AJ has infinite patience and love that I have grown to trust and appreciate. He is the most passionate, dramatic, sensitive piece of sanity I have ever welcomed into my life.
AJ barreled into my life my Junior year of college. And how did he break through??? One corny pickup line after another. Did it hurt??? When you fell from Heaven?? or Are You Tired??? No..why? Because you have been running through my mind ALL day. Yes people, that is what he said to me. But it is NOT what won my attention. AJ has the most crystal blue eyes that harbor deep love, sensitivity, and compassion within them. He drew me into his soul with his addicting personality and HUGE heart...no pun intended! (That's a story for the future...!) Over the last 13 years, this man and I have ventured through marriage, breeding children, heartache, disappointment, success, and overwhelming happiness. I can sit here and say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am ecstatic about what our future holds.
My very existence is purely founded and centered upon my belief and love for Christ. Some of you may say at this point "Oh geez, here we go....we're gonna ride the Bible thumping wagon.." and you will be tempted to "X" out of this page and move onto something that doesn't "offend" you or your beliefs. Well, I challenge you. I challenge you to think outside the confines of your previously contrived boundaries and merely share experiences with me. I am willing and able to learn from experiences others share with me, so I expect the same of others. I am not a Christian because it is "what you are supposed to do" or because it guarantees golden roads and bon bons in Heaven, I am a Christian because I am NOT perfect. I am full of mistakes and will let people down without really trying. Being a Christian means admitting to imperfection and accepting that Christ loved me enough to die to make sure I stand before my Heavenly Father with ABSOLUTE flawless perfection. And you know, that's just it for me. So you will see blogs on here that refer to readings in the Bible I have done, or new lessons I have learned. It is NOT there to purposely push away those with different beliefs, but it IS there to share experiences with other humans. The learning you take away from those experiences and where it takes you, well, that's up to you. As for me??? I can pray that it leads someone along side of me at the foot of the cross that wasn't there before.
So once again, I challenge you to withstand being offended or "put off" by mine or anyone else's blog. Let's not allow ourselves to close the door on sharing life experiences. I invite you to challenge or discuss anything you read on my blogs. I see it as an opportunity for myself to grow and learn and leave something behind in this world that is WAY bigger than myself....
Welcome to the race,
Molls (that is my nickname I go by!)
One might ask, why would a Joe Nobody like you want to start a blog? Honestly, no clue! It's not that I have any vastly important, Earth-shattering words of wisdom to share or have theories or "tricks" to make this roller coaster ride we call life any easier. But, I DO have experiences....and that is what I believe connects humans to each other.
I am absolutely NOT 100 years old with tons of experiences that will ratify life in the future, but I have experienced and will experience things that elicit emotions in myself and others. I firmly believe that experiences and emotions bind us together as humans. That bond needs to be cultivated and fostered everyday. No matter if the experiences we share are not so great or fabulous, sharing them and how we work through them breeds invaluable bonds.
As I sit here typing this, I see a small family living in a small, very modest home in East Tennessee. We don't have a huge house, or shiny new cars, or tons of luxuries to share with the world. BUT, we DO have an immeasurable amount of love within these walls. I will not lie to you....there are days when I want to throw my hands up and run for the hills, just because it is sure to be more quiet there. As an adult with ADHD, noise creates chaos in my head, and that often means I spin out of control. What brings me back? My husband. AJ has infinite patience and love that I have grown to trust and appreciate. He is the most passionate, dramatic, sensitive piece of sanity I have ever welcomed into my life.
AJ barreled into my life my Junior year of college. And how did he break through??? One corny pickup line after another. Did it hurt??? When you fell from Heaven?? or Are You Tired??? No..why? Because you have been running through my mind ALL day. Yes people, that is what he said to me. But it is NOT what won my attention. AJ has the most crystal blue eyes that harbor deep love, sensitivity, and compassion within them. He drew me into his soul with his addicting personality and HUGE heart...no pun intended! (That's a story for the future...!) Over the last 13 years, this man and I have ventured through marriage, breeding children, heartache, disappointment, success, and overwhelming happiness. I can sit here and say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am ecstatic about what our future holds.
My very existence is purely founded and centered upon my belief and love for Christ. Some of you may say at this point "Oh geez, here we go....we're gonna ride the Bible thumping wagon.." and you will be tempted to "X" out of this page and move onto something that doesn't "offend" you or your beliefs. Well, I challenge you. I challenge you to think outside the confines of your previously contrived boundaries and merely share experiences with me. I am willing and able to learn from experiences others share with me, so I expect the same of others. I am not a Christian because it is "what you are supposed to do" or because it guarantees golden roads and bon bons in Heaven, I am a Christian because I am NOT perfect. I am full of mistakes and will let people down without really trying. Being a Christian means admitting to imperfection and accepting that Christ loved me enough to die to make sure I stand before my Heavenly Father with ABSOLUTE flawless perfection. And you know, that's just it for me. So you will see blogs on here that refer to readings in the Bible I have done, or new lessons I have learned. It is NOT there to purposely push away those with different beliefs, but it IS there to share experiences with other humans. The learning you take away from those experiences and where it takes you, well, that's up to you. As for me??? I can pray that it leads someone along side of me at the foot of the cross that wasn't there before.
So once again, I challenge you to withstand being offended or "put off" by mine or anyone else's blog. Let's not allow ourselves to close the door on sharing life experiences. I invite you to challenge or discuss anything you read on my blogs. I see it as an opportunity for myself to grow and learn and leave something behind in this world that is WAY bigger than myself....
Welcome to the race,
Molls (that is my nickname I go by!)
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