Sunday, November 20, 2011

This Runner's Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

     Father, I love you so much.  May everything of this day and my life be glorifying to you.  Father, please bless the feet of those who walk and run today in the name of something bigger than themselves.  Let it not be about competing for times and places, and more about uniting together to establish a foundation for future support and growth of our children's education system.  Guard each participant, volunteer, and supporter and keep them free from harm so they may experience the success of seeing a job through to the end.  Father, may the participants of The Turkey Trot for Education 5K/1-Mile have swift feet, strong hearts, and energetic spirits that will escort them over the finish line.  And when it is all over, may you be glorified above all.  I love you Father.

                                              All my love,

                                             Molls

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Skinny Jeans..Love 'Em or Hate 'Em?

     So, I have been told that I should share my story as a means to motivate others....the story of my lifestyle change.  The story of how I kicked my own ass.
     One thing that I have learned after the last two books that I have read, is the human ego is the source of most of pain, selfishness, and frustration that we are held captive by each passing day.  Therefore, it must be made clear, if you set out on a weight loss journey with "looking good" as your only goal, congratulations....your ego is the one in control....and trust me, that will backfire and most likely any efforts are going to become unstable and potentially fall apart along the way.  When your ego takes a hold of your goals, it means you surrendered control to something other than your true self and consequently, the outcome as well.
      Looking into the eyes of my entrusted OB/GYN and hearing the words "You weigh more now than you did when you gave birth to Sarah....you need to lose weight", hit me like a dump truck...right in the muffin top.  I thought, "What a brat...how could she tell me that???  I don't think I look THAT bad".  This was all in the moment after her saying this to me...and then her next comment made me realize it was not my looks she was worried about.  She said, "You had Diabetes with BOTH pregnancies, and you seem to forget that that puts you at higher risk for Type 2 in just a few years."  I walked out of her office feeling about as big as an barn, but I started realizing that my selfishness /ego was in control of what I was eating and my lack of activity.  I am not one who likes others to control things in my life...therefore, I went home and.....that's right......ate a completely unhealthy snack.  (As a side note, if you have identified that you are an "emotional eater" or "stress eater", things won't change until you identify the source and deal with it constructively.)  It must not have been so worth it or amazing, because I can't remember what it was.  Funny how that works.  It wasn't until I took it upon myself to DECIDE and COMMIT to what had to be done, and that was...make a commitment to doing everything I can to ensure being present and LIVING life enjoying my family and their families for as long as God wills me to.  It had nothing to do with size this and that, or how great I looked in a picture, or what I looked like 10 years ago.  It had everything to do not wanting to miss out on the things that I said I wanted to see in life.  Those things weren't going to come happen right in front of me while I sat on the couch indulging in oversleeping and overeating under the guise of "relaxation".  NO WAY!  It meant...getting up, moving, changing the way I perceived food and banking on difficulties along the way...but not being afraid of them.
     My thought on why most diet and exercise programs end up failing is not because of the program, it's because the person failed it.  I mean, think about that!  IT'S AN INANIMATE SYSTEM!!!!  One that ONLY works with a series of actions to drive it!  What's the source of the action??.....US!  Listen....crap happens!  Life stinks at times!  But, allowing those things to define HOW you react is just plain dumb!  Allowing "life" to knock you "off your game" means you never decided to get in and play anyways!  True, committed lifestyle change will NOT happen until the person chooses that it is more important than the selfish need to add two more pounds of cheese or watch 500 billion more minutes of television.  I'm not saying all of those things are bad, but seriously, how much do you NEED?  Nothing worthwhile is easy....it's just that simple.  So expect challenges, bad days, and set backs...but don't give those things control and ability to dictate how you react to them.  
    Weight Watchers worked for me.  It may not work for everyone, but then again, neither does platinum blonde...that's why there is beauty in choices.  Bottom line, WW taught me balance, being selective, freedom, and payoff.  I began to eat moderately and view food as positive fuel, not a means to justify my "bad day" and self-indulgent motivations.    Motion/movement is paramount.  What started out as brisk walking became running.  Exercise meant doing whatever put my body in motion and liking it!!  There are some people who choose exercises because they think they are high payoffs for weight loss, yet the DREAD, HATE, AND LOATHE doing it.  My question is WHY!!??  To me, that is completely asinine...why not choose something you enjoy doing?!  It may take some work and effort to discover what it is, but it may mean that you are more apt to keep doing it regularly, instead of it being susceptible to the next thing that comes along that can blow up your program.  If it means that you lose 2 lbs. a week as opposed to 4 lbs, the payoff is that you keep doing it rather than gaining back those 4 lbs plus 10 times that when you try to justify giving up.
    Make it a priority.  If you use the excuse "I just don't have the time"....I feel for ya'.  Because seriously,  if you are in it for the right reasons...you'll make time.  Sacrifice the TV, Swiss Cake Rolls, and Dr. Peppers in order to gain healthy, productive years on your life.  Choose to give yourself to those that love you and want to spend their lives with you, and purposefully seek opportunities to validate their desire.  Otherwise, I feel it is saying "Yeah....this crappy sludge I'm eating and continuous couch potatoing thing I have going on is WAY, WAY more important than being here for any of you.  And the 5 minutes of selfish pleasure I am looking for in this wrapper, is far more crucial than our future together."  
    Have a visual goal.  Seriously.  I'm not talking a picture you cut out of a magazine of some super skinny super model that you cannot ever be...and do you REALLY want to????  Put your kids' pictures on the fridge, your spouse, your family, your pets....whatever works.  Then when you are making your choices, you will have first looked at them.  Then...go to the store.  Find a great pair of jeans, or a swim suit, a hot shirt...but get it in the size you aim to be.  Please, be realistic!  If you don't ever see yourself getting to a size 2...don't buy it!  Focus the goal on a size where you can be happy AND healthy!  The numbers on the inside of your pants don't make you who you really are! Find something you like, but DO NOT buy it because you think "This will make my eyes look great" or "My rear-end will be the main attraction in these!".  Because if you really look at that....those are needs motivated by a self-centered desire to attract attention to yourself.  Buy the skinny jeans...and say to yourself, "When I get to a healthy point where I can wear these...I will be able to run with my kids, swim with my dog, or just feel good body-wise on a consistent basis."  When you get home, hang the item up where you can look at it everyday.  EVERYDAY.  Let it serve as a compass needle for the choices you make that day.  When you get close to where you think you might be able to wear them...try them on.  If they still don't fit, you either choose to keep going and get into it, or choose that you are close enough...that's up to you!
    Ask for help.  Number one, to me, God HAS to be involved.  Pray for strength, endurance, wisdom and guidance as you vow to take care of shell that protects the beautiful gift He created in you.  If you stumble, ask Him to help you up.  When you cross the finish line of your goals, ask Him to focus you on the longer road ahead because your race is just beginning.  Number two, get with a friend or family member....and one that is HONEST.  It doesn't necessarily have to be someone who has weight to lose, truthfully, it shouldn't be.  It needs to be someone "in it"....because their attitude will be contagious.  Remember...misery loves company...so choose wisely.  Just hear me when I say, a honest, true friend will tell you when you are 5 lbs. too much for your Speedo, and they will strategize with you figure out what is left to do to get into them.
     Recognize.  Recognize that you are NOT a super hero.  This is something that if done right...takes time.  Tell your ego, who is screaming "This is taking too long", to SHUT UP!  Get it right...the first time so that you can make a true life change, not just a schedule/behavior change in your day-to-day for a little while.
      Lastly, nothing is going to happen until YOU choose to change it.  I have heard so many times "I lost X amount of weight and gained it all back because I just can't keep doing...."  My response is "You're damn right you can't....because you allowed CAN'T to decide for you."  If you go into it  believing the this time could be like all the others....don't even say you're starting.  Don't start until you decide AND believe that this time is going to be the BEST and LAST time you will ever make this choice again.  Accept the resolve to reach your goal, and keep going.  Don't hit your goal and stop...because the real challenge is maintaining.  That's why so many people can lose 50 or 100 lbs....but check in a year or two later...and its all back.  Because to some hitting a goal means they're done, however, it merely means your goal gets modified.  If you are the one going through life hating "those skinny girls" or "those beefcakes", get over yourself!  It's not because they are in shape or feeling good, it's because you haven't put the effort into it yourself!  They achieved what YOU need, yet won't choose to because "it's too hard" or its not laden with 50 grams of fat or 1500 calories.  Until you're going to make the decision to go for it....shut up, sit down, and don't be hatin'!
     Working out serves as a release for me.  I do it 5-6 times a week to keep my mind sharp, my body healthy, and release stress, worry and fears.  I don't do it so that I can shop in a certain section or store, I do it because my family needs me...and I need them.  Likewise, I need you!  If any of you are looking for a walking, running, workout partner....please call me!  I always need someone to get down with!  For anyone reading this, I encourage you to get started or keep going.  Every race starts with ONE step, and every journey ends when ONE foot crossing the finish line.




 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Limits...Schlimits!

Many people I have seen in life find SOMETHING they can use to limit their abilities and/or achievements....present company included!  Age, financial standing, jobs, spouse, academic success, self-image, ANYTHING!  We can find anything that will excuse us from the responsibility of owning our successes and our failures.  Why?  Because it is easier, it hurts less, and in the end...we figure we don't have to answer for it if we just absolve ourselves of it with the words, "That's not my......"

Growing up I considered myself to be a pretty active kid.  I played softball and LOVED every minute. (And still do...if anyone knows of a team....CALL ME!)  One thing I never felt confident about was running.  I hated, no LOATHED it actually.  After the birth of our daughter, Sarah, I was explicitly told by my doctor that my weight was out of control and because I was diabetic with both pregnancies, I was begging for Type 2 in just a few years.  That set my wheels in motion and I was on a mission to lose weight, because though I cannot influence the fact that I am at higher risk for Type 2, I can influence how much difficult it would be for Type 2 to get into my life!  You'd better believe I am going to make it VERY difficult.  After losing a good chunk of weight and being dedicated to taking good care of myself, I decided one night to go from walking to running.  I thought to myself "there is NO WAY in all of creation I will be able to finish my route at a running pace".  As I collapsed in my back yard, face first in the cool, green grass, I then said to myself  "Holy crap....I just ran that whole route at a run!  WHO THE HECK DOES THIS FOR FUN??!!!"  But something had me out there the next night running once again.  And I have never stopped since.  I am now an avid runner and actually do enjoy it.  I conquered a goal of mine in August, which was to run my first 5K.  I did and finished in the top half of the race.  But you know what is even better....?

It's not what I have gotten from it....it is what I have passed onto my kids.  My daughter Sarah, now 4-years old, loves to be active.  For a long time she has said "Mommy, I want to run with you!" and I have encouraged her and even let her run a block or two....and by-golly SHE'S GOOD!  Something happened though when my family came out the race to support me.  Sarah's whole mindset went straight to the goal of "Mommy, can I run a race with you?"  Initially, I responded with "Well, if it's something that you still want to do when you get older, sure!".  Then I got to thinking, "Why in the heck am I placing limits on my child, when she didn't see any for herself in the first place? She wants to do that and I am going to be the one that tells her she can't?"  I don't think so!  So, I began having several conversations with her to see if this was something that she actually wanted to do, or if it was something of a fleeting 4-year old moment.  Consistently, Sarah has said, "Yes! I want to run a race too! I am a good runner Mommy and when can we go?!"  So, we talked about the need to practice and learn how to run properly and the importance of being in good shape.  She understood all of that and agreed to practice as needed.  I told AJ and then her, I am going to find a race (aiming for this Spring) that will let her run.  We have set our goal on a 1 mile walk at a running pace, but I can see a fire in her already that I think will push her right up to a 3.1 mile finish line!

Yesterday, I asked Sarah "So Bug, (that's what we call her) do you want to go run with mommy?"  And with NO hesitation she was ready to go.  I told her if we were going to do this, she was going to have to commit to at least one mile everyday.  She was cool with that.  Off we went!  Today I asked her if she wanted to run again.  I was sure she would say no, but to my surprise she was "YESSSSS" the whole way.  I could not be more proud of my 4-year old daughter who within 24 hours has run a total of 2.1 miles!  She listened to everything I taught her about form, pace, breathing and focus and put it ALL into action tonight.  Even when I was singing "HERE WE GO SARAH, HERE WE GO!!"  she replied with "Mommy, remember that takes our breathing and energy away....so let's run with our mouths closed."...I smiled and watched in amazement as she pushed on and turned around smiling when she hit the driveway.  And she didn't even collapse!


Sarah and I are GOING to run a race together.  Even if I have to go the top of the line to get her in, I WILL DO IT.  I am going to watch her go all the way to her goal and past it.  I can only pray that God had this all planned out years ago when my sugar was too high that sooner or later my goal of being healthy would lead our kids to the finish line.

And that's my proud momma moment!

Monday, September 5, 2011

It Takes a Family to Climb A Mountain

Some take beaches, some take cruises, some take long island getaways.  What does my family take????  A 5-mile hike to Abram's Falls in the Smokey Mountains in the rain and tubing down a non-existent river.  

It's Labor Day weekend, and I have been anxiously awaiting my family's arrival for WEEKS.   My sister Amy and her boyfriend Keith, my nephews Nathan and Noah and Keith's son Zach, along with my Mom and Dad made arrangements for us to all gather together for the weekend in a beautiful cabin high a-top a mountain in the Smokey Mountains.  Friday night we all gathered together and shared laughter, hugs, and love.  Saturday, we made plans to go tubing down the river.  What could be better than spending the day lazily winding down a river enjoying the gorgeous sun and beautiful scenery right?!  Well, yes.....but when there is a lack of rain in the area and the river is down, you end up walking a good bit of the river!  Though it was a challenge at times, there were more good spots than tough ones during our adventure on the river.  The kids got to swim, jump from a rope swing off the rocks, and the adults got to partake in some much-needed relaxation and laughter.  

Then Sunday, what could be better than taking a nice relaxing "hike" through the mountains to the amazing site of Abrams Falls?  Mom and Dad wanted to see falls, so we were determined to deliver.  And......so was everybody else from every other state in the United States!  We sat on the "Scenic Loop" of Cades Cove for HOURS.  We finally made it to the trail head and our adventure began.  About 2/3 of the way to the falls, it starts sprinkling.....then a little harder.....and then down right POURING!  When we made it to the falls, it was a complete downpour, but nothing could detract from the amazing beauty of the falls.  We took pictures of rain-soaked kids and family members and found a baby snapping turtle that Logan is STILL talking about!  The hardest part begins.....the hike back.  Now pouring harder than ever, shoes squishing, carrying Sarah, slipping on rocks, hungry, tired and racing against the approaching dark of night....we finally reached the trail head once again.  There was not a DANG thing that wasn't completely soaked.  We got into our cars and stripped children to underwear and turned on the heat in early September.  Only to approach the loop road to exit and find the SAME site of a chain of cars at a stand still in our way.  An hour and fifteen minutes later, we made it to the exit road and traveled back to our cabin.  Cold, tired, hungry and hurting, we landed into showers, hot tubs, and dinner plates.  To quote my ever-positive mother "Well this was an ADVENTURE!  And one for the memory books!"  She always finds the silver lining among the rain clouds.

This morning I was sitting at the breakfast table just watching.  Watching the controlled chaos that the walls of the cabin held.  I saw adults scurrying to pack belongings, children fighting, children and adults fighting...yet the peaceful mountains stood quietly in the distance outside the windows.  I started thinking, "Molly, you are one very blessed girl."  You see, while a lot of people feel that a vacation is about being pampered, spoiled and rejuvenated, I came to the conclusion that for me, it's about re-establishing the strength of a family.  When we were trekking down the river, we each gave a hand pulling and pushing tubes across slippery rocks.  Each one of us needed a hand at one point, and rest assured, you didn't have to turn around and search for one, because it was already there helping.  We all made sure that every member of the family made it to the end of the ride safely, and shared some laughs along the way.  

And the mountain?  Well....I cannot imagine climbing it with anybody else.  This morning I thought about it and it occurred to me, if I had been out there by myself, I would have had plenty to be afraid of, but because I was surrounded by my family, I never was afraid.  When someone slipped, or needed carried, someone was there to help.  We sang "Jesus Loves Me" in the rain and stopped to view God's artwork....which is just as beautiful in the rain as it is in the sunlight.  It was a good reminder that sometimes God's way of cleansing and rejuvenating is to drench one in blessings that we often take for granted....like family.  
There are a lot of families out there, and they all have their fair share of ups and downs, rough spots, hurts, joys, happiness and unbelievable adventures, and I bow in humble adoration at how they have all weathered those situations.  My family has endured happiness, loss, heartache, love, tough lessons, tough choices, and unspeakable situations with NO clear answers, but one thing that is as constant as the mountains in the distance, we have climbed each mountain together.  We never have to look for long or very far for a outstretched hand, because without reservation someone is already reaching out. I love my family so much that there are no words to adequately express it.  Is it hard living so far from them?  Yes, absolutely.  But distance is only as far as you make it.  We make it work.  Skype is wonderful!  Most importantly, we cannot be broken and we will always have each other and memories.
So, beaches, spas, fancy restaurants, cruises, manis/pedis, and island getaways????  NOT FOR ME.  I will go anywhere and be anywhere that my family is.  I would hike that mountain trail in the rain as many times as they asked me to, if it meant that I got to spend time with them.  I don't need to be spoiled with meals in bed or crisping on the beach....I just want hear the laughter of my kids playing with their cousins, my sister singing while she dries her hair, my mom reading an "important excerpt" to my dad from the latest book she's reading, and my husband teasing me endlessly....or at least attempting to!  Someday, all I will have is those memories and no lavish vacation in the world could outshine them.  So mom is right, this was an adventure for the memory books.  We could choose to complain about muscle pain and soaked shoes, or we could thank God for the opportunity to live, laugh, and love each other through anything.  Frankly, I look at it like this....once that physical pain goes away, if that was all we focused on, what do you have left?  Nothing.  Memories stay with us forever and form our future.  I can't wait until our next family adventure!

Monday, August 29, 2011

"I NEED A HERO!!"

I imagine at one point in time we have all been asked "Who is your hero?".  For me?  It's always been my dad....hands down.  Every little girl looks to her daddy as the one who hung the sun,moon AND stars and he can do NO wrong because he is too busy walking on water right after conquering the world.  Heroes are important, but better yet, who IS your hero?

For a woman, when she leaves her mother and father and marries a man who has vowed to love, honor, and protect her, it is his way of signing on to be her hero, or die trying.  It's the "die trying" part that really matters.  A wife's greatest need is to be loved, but HOW a man shows her love can vary.  Some see it in words, others in actions, and some in the way we're touched.  Me???  I am a mix of ALL of those!  But I have found myself picking and choosing which of those to pay attention to at times.  It's funny how we can blatantly ignore some of the most obvious things when our selfish side is in the driver's seat. 

I do not mean for this to be a commercial for my husband, AJ, because if you already know him, you're sold!  One thing that a hero is NOT is perfect.  In any great super hero movie or story, at one point the hero takes a little bit of a beating.  It's the author's way of personifying the hero so that the viewer or reader can identify with him or her.  Take a closer look though, when the hero gets up, their cape may be ripped, their uniform may be torn, their really cool gadgets may malfunction....but they keep fighting for their cause.  That's AJ.

AJ would die trying to do ANYTHING for anyone who just so much as smiles at him.  This man has been railroaded by people, myself included, in the past and he STILL remains friends with them.  Now, the level of investment with that person may vary, but it really depends on how much time and effort that person puts back into him.  And trust me... AJ doesn't expect much!  He would single-handedly give someone the shirt off his very back if they needed it.  This is a man who has swallowed his pride, given his heart, been through enough physical and emotional pain for one lifetime, and offered forgiveness time and time again to those who have hurt him.  This is a man who day in and day out works with people who have been convicted of drug abuse, domestic violence, homicide, theft, animal cruelty...you name it....he's seen it.  Some may get upset because he "doesn't move fast enough" or do things in the most efficient manner, but if by taking a few extra minutes with a person to offer help and maintaining even the smallest sliver of faith in their reformation when nobody else will slows him down, so be it.  He deals with the people that have made the rest of us scared to leave our houses, let our kids play outside, or walk after dark....and he STILL treats them with humility.  You want forgiveness lined with justice?  AJ can give it.  And the most amazing thing is that when he comes home, he still has a kiss and hug for each one of us.

If it's all about the "die trying" part....well, he does that too.  Recently, my car had some issues with the brakes.  He has fixed them in a minimal way before, but there was still more work to be done.  In an effort to save money for this family trying to make it these days, he plowed through replacing ALL FOUR BRAKES on my car this weekend.  This is a man who doesn't have any formal training in the mechanical workings of a vehicle....or it's stopping mechanisms!!!  But, where some people would shutter back in fear and say "Oh honey, why don't you just take it down to the shop and pay a BAGILLION dollars to have them do that in 15 minutes", for some reason, I felt his determination to do it on his own.  He spent all day after church yesterday outside, greasy, eaten alive by mosquitoes, sporting a headache, all in the name of the safety of his wife and kids.  If I am being honest.....I never once doubted that he could do it.  There was a perfect peace in me that knew, AJ would get it done and he won't rest until it is.  God had his hand in all of it folks.  Our neighbor poked his head in a few times to offer a hand when AJ needed it.  He has worked on cars his whole life and.....also works for O'Reilly's...so $230 worth of car parts amounted to $111 for the Kales.  THAT'S God people.  I am NOT ashamed to say it either, YOU TUBE is AWESOME!  Tonight AJ finished the other side of the car and VOILA!  It could stop on a dime!  After removing the rear wheel only to find that a rear cylinder had exploded and my brake fluid was in a puddle on the ground with NONE left in the car....AJ's determination paid off!  To the tune of saving us $600+ in parts and labor.  He could have been the lazy butt who laid on the couch and not wanted to give up his time on the weekend, and watched his wife drive away in an unsafe vehicle with his two babies in the backseat....but he didn't.  He was determined to give it his best efforts and die trying. 

The best part though?  He won't let me test drive until he does first.  He puts himself in potential harms way because according to him, "If this car won't stop I want it to be me in it and not you".  Do you love someone so much that you would get into a car, not sure if it will stop or not, and take off down the road?  Would you play Russian Roulette with a handgun for the person you love???  It's a little like that.

So if a hero is what I want, TWO heroes is what I got.  My dad and my husband are my heroes and their capes are flapping in the wind!  (NO tights please!)  The greatest thing about them is that they are BOTH men after the heart of Christ.  They model their sacrificial love after the hero who gave it all for them.  I know fixing cars may be small beans to some, but to me, it meant everything.  I have not always done everything right, I've not always told and showed AJ how much I love him, and I have definitely wronged him in ways that are beyond human reproach.  But, he always comes back to me with forgiveness lined with justice, and for that, he is my hero!




Friday, August 19, 2011

Remission....it's not just a stage of healing, it's a state of mind... Kale style.

As many of you know, my father-in-law Jim, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer last Fall.  It took us all by surprise and we waited with intense trepidation with each report and test.  My husband, AJ, who is Jim's only offspring (I think AJ did him in on the idea of having more....!) began taking steps to be involved with his dad's fight against Cancer.  Jim underwent surgeries, chemo, and much more.

One thing Jim did NOT undergo, was a defeated attitude.  From the start Jim was very realistic, yet confident and firm in his resolution to beat what many thought was unbeatable.  When Jim was down for a visit several months ago, he told us that he told his doctor "I got two grandkids to watch grow up so I ain't fu*&%ng going anywhere!"  Despite how some people may feel, Jim had it right.  So many times I see people get diagnosed with Cancer, and they STOP.  They stop trying, loving, taking care of themselves, and living in general.  Jim never did that.  He did his chemo and went through the joys that come along with that, but he did it.  Meanwhile, he took time out to LIVE.  He went to Florida and laid back on a boat and soaked up some rays with his family and friends.  He came to Tennessee to see his family and laughed with his grandkids.   He continues to forge ahead with a bravery that is unmatched.  He may shrug it off and say "well, what the hell else am I gonna do??", but that is just Kale-speak for "I plan on kicking it's A#$ and then we'll eat!"  (Mind you, you may have hearing lose after this as well...they're very passionate about meal time and a whisper to them is more like a bull horn for most)

I am happy to say that as of yesterday...TEN MONTHS after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer....Jim is in remission!  Celebration?  Oh yes.  Relief? You bet your buns. Praise Jesus?  I'm on my knees.  My point is, Jim was determined to not let Cancer determine his life.  He let his life determine how much attention, no...dwelling, was spent on Cancer.  His state of mind was one of determination and drive, yet not forgetting to live life and enjoy the things that make you happy.  For Jim, it's his family and friends.  His life is centered around making everyone else happy, which in turns makes him happy.  We should all take on Jim's state of mind.

Remission is defined as "A diminution of the seriousness or intensity of disease or pain; a temporary recovery".  Temporary?  WHO CARES!  Because temporary is a very ambiguous time frame that I know Jim is going to take FULL advantage of!  And because of that, I know not only will AJ and I get to enjoy seeing Jim happy, but our two kids will get to see Grandpa Jim Bob living life and actually enjoying it, rather than putting one foot in the grave and waiting for the last rites to be read.

Remission may be a state of "temporary" healing...medically speaking that is.  BUT, I think in most situations, if we focus on the END result or desired outcome, it drives us to move faster and closer to it until we land right, smack in the middle of it.  Jim put his mind "in the state of remission" and therefore that is where he now exists, both mentally AND physically.  That's no feat people!  I am so proud to be Jim's daughter-in-law.  I draw courage from his strength and take pride in my husband and kids doing so as well.  Who else can say that they fought Stage 4 Liver Cancer and put it in remission in a mere 10 months??!!  Not many.

So Jim???  I salute, bow, hats off, high five, thumbs up, smile, and most of all hug you tonight!  Why?  Because you are so intricately sewn into the man I love, thus into my children.  I know I often use the line "I'm only here by marriage" as a wise-crack to dismiss something worthy of being dismissed, but truly I say to you, I have never been more proud to be a Kale.  We love you and can't wait to see you Grandpa Jim Bob!








Sunday, August 7, 2011

Allow myself to introduce....myself..!

     Well, here I am.  This is my first shot at the whole "blogging" thing, so truth be told, I don't know exactly what to expect.  But, I am willing to try anything once, so here goes!
     One might ask, why would a Joe Nobody like you want to start a blog?  Honestly, no clue!  It's not that I have any vastly important, Earth-shattering words of wisdom to share or have theories or "tricks" to make this roller coaster ride we call life any easier.  But, I DO have experiences....and that is what I believe connects humans to each other.
     I am absolutely NOT 100 years old with tons of experiences that will ratify life in the future, but I have experienced and will experience things that elicit emotions in myself and others.  I firmly believe that experiences and emotions bind us together as humans.  That bond needs to be cultivated and fostered everyday.  No matter if the experiences we share are not so great or fabulous, sharing them and how we work through them breeds invaluable bonds.
    As I sit here typing this, I see a small family living in a small, very modest home in East Tennessee.  We don't have a huge house, or shiny new cars, or tons of luxuries to share with the world.  BUT, we DO have an immeasurable amount of love within these walls.  I will not lie to you....there are days when I want to throw my hands up and run for the hills, just because it is sure to be more quiet there.  As an adult with ADHD, noise creates chaos in my head, and that often means I spin out of control.  What brings me back?  My husband.  AJ has infinite patience and love that I have grown to trust and appreciate.  He is the most passionate, dramatic, sensitive piece of sanity I have ever welcomed into my life.  
    AJ barreled into my life my Junior year of college.  And how did he break through???  One corny pickup line after another.  Did it hurt??? When you fell from Heaven??  or  Are You Tired???  No..why?  Because you have been running through my mind ALL day.   Yes people, that is what he said to me.  But it is NOT what won my attention.  AJ has the most crystal blue eyes that harbor deep love, sensitivity, and compassion within them.  He drew me into his soul with his addicting personality and HUGE heart...no pun intended!  (That's a story for the future...!)  Over the last 13 years, this man and I have ventured through marriage, breeding children, heartache, disappointment, success, and overwhelming happiness.  I can sit here and say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am ecstatic about what our future holds.
     My very existence is purely founded and centered upon my belief and love for Christ.  Some of you may say at this point "Oh geez, here we go....we're gonna ride the Bible thumping wagon.." and you will be tempted to "X" out of this page and move onto something that doesn't "offend" you or your beliefs.  Well, I challenge you.  I challenge you to think outside the confines of your previously contrived boundaries and merely share experiences with me.  I am willing and able to learn from experiences others share with me, so I expect the same of others.  I am not a Christian because it is "what you are supposed to do" or because it guarantees golden roads and bon bons in Heaven, I am a Christian because I am NOT perfect.  I am full of mistakes and will let people down without really trying.  Being a Christian means admitting to imperfection and accepting that Christ loved me enough to die to make sure I stand before my Heavenly Father with ABSOLUTE flawless perfection.  And you know, that's just it for me.  So you will see blogs on here that refer to readings in the Bible I have done, or new lessons I have learned.  It is NOT there to purposely push away those with different beliefs, but it IS there to share experiences with other humans.  The learning you take away from those experiences and where it takes you, well, that's up to you.  As for me???  I can pray that it leads someone along side of me at the foot of the cross that wasn't there before.  
   So once again, I challenge you to withstand being offended or "put off" by mine or anyone else's blog.  Let's not allow ourselves to close the door on sharing life experiences.  I invite you to challenge or discuss anything you read on my blogs.  I see it as an opportunity for myself to grow and learn and leave something behind in this world that is WAY bigger than myself....
    
 Welcome to the race,
Molls (that is my nickname I go by!)