Friday, September 11, 2015

One drip at a time...

     Words. Actions. Motive. It all stems from a motive. What we do, what we say, how we respond, and how we allow things to effect us all begins with a motive...somewhere.
     I know this will seem like a drastic subject change here, and the English teacher in me is making red pen marks about a non-existent transition, but hang with me! This past summer we went with friends that were visiting to the Tuckaleechee Caverns here in Tennessee. Now, if you've never been to any sort of underground caverns, you definitely should make that happen! It's unbelievable that as much beauty and splendor that exists on TOP of the Earth, there is just as much and more beneath the ground. 
     From the moment we set foot in the caverns, our eyes feasted on towering stalactites and crawling stalagmites. Each one was so beautifully unique and carefully crafted over thousands of years....one drip at a time. Some were only a few inches tall, others were towering past a hundred feet. There were areas worn into the smoothest bowl-shaped formations I had ever seen. Regardless of the shape, size, and texture, or form of these astounding each held a remarkable symbol of who we are as humans that is typically lost when looking at them with just your eyes.
    Stalagmites are formed by the calcium and mineral deposits in dripping water that slowly collect over time until a strong rock-formation rises from the ground, and they're typically characterized by smooth, rounded tops. Conversely, stalactites are also made from dripping water containing minerals; however, stalactites hang from the ceiling of a cave and progressively grow downwards into a pointed, often very sharp tip. Furthermore, there are areas where dripping water has worn into bowl-shaped dips and holes in the stone. 
   These formations symbolize how we can effect those around us. We are all created with unique skills, talents, experience, and gifts that make us who we are, but it's what we do with them that creates an impact and leaves a legacy if we so choose. Everyday we engage with family, friends, colleagues, bosses, community members, etc., etc., and we have a choice. By sharing all that we're made of with those around us, we have the opportunity to build people into tall, strong smooth-topped structures that continue to grow over time. Or....we can be someone who slowly wears someone to a point that will eventually stop and appear uninviting. They will constantly have to fight to hang on because they've doing it for so long. Sooner or later, the weight will become more than they can bear and they'll fall and crumble into a million pieces. Some will slowly be worn away into a rounded hole that will blend into the stone around them and will never really grow into anything more than just a bigger bowl. Each formation formed by the same method, but what becomes of them depends on what is contained in each drip.
    Whether you're a leader, manager, boss, father, mother, colleague, friend, or family member, you have an opportunity. Ask yourself if what you're sharing with others is creating a developing, strong, monolith that others will want to gaze at and know more about. Are you only sharing things that slowly wear people to a hard, sharp point? Will the weight they carry eventually force them to lose the fight to "just hang on" and fall and crumble into a pile? Or are you constantly wearing away on someone and creating a indifferent, oblivious form that soon just gets wider and blends in, or you drip right through them altogether? 
    If you're not leaving others with the idea that they can be more than they are right now and challenging them to become bigger than they thought they could be, are you really creating a legacy? If the people who are around you on a regular basis don't have aspirations of doing and being more, then ask yourself why not? They need empowerment. They need encouragement. They need your positive gifts and motivation so don't withhold them from them! Don't live in fear that they might grow bigger than you and overshadow you altogether. It's actually quite the contrary. When skyscrapers are built, nobody looks at them and says, "That building really built itself into an amazing structure!" The building didn't build itself, the architect who dreamt it and the hands that created it all had a bigger vision than the one on the blueprint and believed that the finished product would speak for their vision, skills, and knowledge. What we have and give to others isn't always a nicely wrapped "thing" in a box with a pretty bow on top; it's often teaching, empowering, or leading them to the water and letting them figure out how to cross the river and then cheering for them when they reach the other side.




Saturday, March 7, 2015

YES....I work from home.

NO....it's not a cake walk.

Yes...I work from home....NO, that doesn't mean that everything is easy. Yes..I can work in my pajamas....NO that's not always by choice....somedays I just haven't had a free moment to change my clothes yet because I am so busy. Yes...I can go for a run on my lunch break.....NO that's not everyday because most days I don't even take a lunch. Yes...I'm here when my kids get off the bus....NO that doesn't mean I get to sit down and do their homework with them right away. Yes...I can switch laundry over, start dinner, and grab a package when the UPS guy rings the doorbell....NO that doesn't mean that when my kids are sick and home from school that I can easily take care of them and properly tend to their needs AND do my job with the care that it deserves.

In fact...working from home is not a "cake walk" as it would seem to many. Is my morning commute short and rather stress-free? Probably, compared to most. But before I log in, I have made sure both of my kids are up, showered, dressed, fed, lunches packed, and to school on time. Then I come back and jump into helping REAL families, REAL people, who have REAL goals, hurdles, and issues. And do I do it from home? YES. I do it alongside an AMAZING team of hard-working, intelligent, and brilliant people who band together to support our clients from hundreds of miles away. We deal with the same people who get angry, say hateful things, share successes, and give praise when earned. However, we don't get to look them in the eye and use the power of touch and body language to put them at ease and build meaningful relationships with them. We do it through the power of words and actions. We don't have to go to a physical 4-walled building, sit under horrible florescent lights, and wait in anticipation for quitting time for us to do our job and exceed expectations. We're so freaking good, we can do it without even leaving the house.

I'm tired of people thinking that because I work from home that being in the same living space counts as "quality time" with my husband. There are days that I hardly leave my office, let alone share a hug and a kiss with him until almost bedtime. So forgive us if we opt to do something together where we can look into each other's eyes and talk about each other's day. Sharing physical space with someone DOES NOT mean that you are spending conscious, focused, meaningful time together doing the things that you both enjoy that provide a foundation for your relationship. I'm repulsed by people who think because they work from an actual physical office and that because I work from home I should be able to take care of anything that comes up at home or with the family all on my own. It is visible proof that they actually don't know shit.

Granted, there are some work from home occupations that don't require undivided focus and "out-of-the-box" thinking. However, even if I were offered a chance to do that, I wouldn't change what I do for anything. Why? Because I am closer to my teammates than a lot of people I've worked next to in an actual office. We are spread out across the country and that means we work harder than most to support, encourage, and care for each other. I would trust ANY of them in most any situation versus some people I've shared a physical office with. The company I work for cares for EVERYONE from our clients, team members, regional directors, and city directors. Our CEO sits in on EVERY weekly meeting with the directors across the nation. I get a "virtual hand slap" if I log in after hours and I'm told to go spend time with my family. We share fitness challenges, holiday parties, and friendships better than most. We also have expectations everyday, goals, and challenges that we are expected to meet, beat, and exceed. And we DO.

So next time judgement jumps to, "Oh, well she works from home....," stop to think. It's NOT easy. It's NOT "well she can take care of the kids when their sick AND still get her job done." It's NOT just sitting in front of a computer all day. It is NOT living stress-free each work day while wearing fluffy slippers and eating bon-bons. It IS hard work, it IS creative problem-solving, it IS creating success for families, students, and clients that are seeking it. It IS building relationships through effective listening and communication. It IS creating trust without the advantage of human touch and eye-to-eye contact. It IS something I am damn proud of.  So before weighing the level of stress, importance, or hard work involved with one job next to mine, come sit behind me for a day and see and do what I do. Then you have an even playing field. Choosing to assume that one knows all the ins and outs of working from home because of what is seen on TV and portrayed by various media outlets is merely evidence of chosen ignorance. It's ascribing to a certain naiveté because choosing to ask questions and educate oneself is just more difficult and it might shed light on things you were hoping weren't true. It's the number one reason that working from home is probably not the best option for those folks.