Alright, enough is enough.
In case you didn't know, I am an avid reader. I love reading because of the ability to learn, challenge myself, and slip away for just a bit. I read books from all genres and jump into each book with the "don't judge a book by its cover", open-mind type of perspective.
So let me confirm your burning question....YES...I have read all three books of the Fifty Shades trilogy. YES....I am a Christian, married woman who read these books and I still love Chick-Fil-A too. There are many perfectly amazing people out there who are "taking a stance" against reading 50 Shades, and to those folks I say "Fabulous...kudos to you for landing in one camp on the topic." Most of those folks will go on living in a sensible, peaceful manner because they are smart enough to realize that there are much bigger fish to fry than how many copies of smut are flying off the shelves at their local Barnes & Nobles.
Here's where I get a little cantankerous...if you will. Some folks out there are claiming that the trilogy is solely focused on glorifying BDS&M and borderline, abusive relationships, I ask..."and you've read it, right??!!" A large portion would answer "NO...and I'm proud of it!". Very well, so you're proud of the fact that you based a judgement of a book (which consists of paper, ink, fictitious characters and plots), an author (who's a real person), and the droves of other humans who've read it, merely on what somebody else has said? And you're okay with that?? To that point I say that anyone with any sort of literary wherewithal can see that there are multiple themes throughout the storyline that become much bigger than "all that sex" in the books. It's a story of how something very deep, passionate, and trusting grew out of something intended to be short-lived, shallow, and skin deep. Sounds like society wouldn't like that because of how "hook ups" and "one night stands" have become so commonplace. Moreover, it's a story of how two people challenge each other to face and overcome the skeletons in their closets so that a new, happier ife can be achieved. Last time I checked, loving, caring people did that kind of thing.
Secondly, if you look at the definition of "abuse" it is: to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way. Abuse is also indicated by at least one party involved not giving consent to the "abusive" behavior(s), or let alone having a choice in it. Furthermore, it is usually a scenario where the person(s) being abused have any say in the degree, length, or conditions of the behaviors involved. Because I've read the books, I know that this is NOT the case in this story line. Both participants entered into each "interlude" fully informed, by their own accord, AND armed with the ability to stop anything at anytime for any possible reason by the use of one word. That's far more than many alcoholic, drug beaten, physically abusive citizens can say for their relationships. If one of those folks had hit rock bottom and were seeking a voice of reason and compassion to turn their life around, who would reach down and help them up....the one who shirked back because of what their friend told them ( you know...the friend who'd never met them or laid eyes on them)? Or would it be the one who took the time to listen and process that person's story? Would the person needing help want someone who's heard their story to respond with honest, clear feedback, or shoo them away because of what's been said about them behind their back. Sure glad Christ didn't do that.
Thirdly, there is a general stance that a husband or spouse should be the one thing "revving" your proverbial sexual engine.....and I agree. First and foremost, your marriage relationship should be strong and founded on Christ. God designed humans to be attracted physically by certain stimuli, THAT we cannot deny. It's what we DO with the follow-up that often leads to destruction. According to C.S. Lewis, "But pleasure, money, power, and safety are all, as far as they go, good things. The badness consists in pursuing them by the wrong method, or in the wrong way, or too much. I do not mean, of course, that the people who do this are not desperately wicked. I do mean that wickedness, when you examine it, turns out to be the pursuit of some good in the wrong way. You can be good for the mere sake of goodness: you cannot be bad for the mere sake of badness." Therefore, if after reading 50 Shades (which is still NOT the first or last graphic romance book on the shelves...have you heard of Nora Roberts???) if my "engine is revved" and I grabbed my husband and well....you know. Have I done something wrong? Now if I let the stimuli go to the point where I was turning to pornography or destructive, unhealthy relationships to the extent that I was neglecting my husband, then YES, not good. My point is, you must first take a good hard look at yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, the health of your marriage, but mostly your relationship with Christ. If you sense weakness in any of those areas, maybe work that out before reading something controversial. But being stimulated and turning to your spouse is natural, and I do believe created by God. Don't believe me? Look up and read the Book of Solomon in the Bible.
In conclusion, "judging a book by its cover" is one thing...as long as you are the one picking it up and making the call. We have all been blessed with the ability to discern right and wrong and a very reliable source from which that wisdom flows. Many merely choose to quiet that voice or snuff it out because they think their own voice is louder and they're looking for attention. Think about it, if every non-believer out there was told by someone else "That Bible is all false! It's full of tales and symbolism. It's not real--don't spend time reading it." never picked it up and read it for themselves to make their own judgement, we wouldn't have any non-believers find Christ in the word of God. And the last time I checked, this was a FREE country, and as humans we are able to CHOOSE one way or another, therefore, acknowledge the fact that you have the ability to pick up the book, read it, and if you begin feeling uncomfortable....you can close it, put it down, and never touch it again. At least you will have some hard-core, first hand basis from which to speak an opinion from.
If you're not sure if you can trust yourself to read a book like 50 Shades, then be big enough to admit that and avoid the temptation. Then, get with someone who can walk through that with you and start by reading the word of God. Am I a bad person because I have read the 50 Shades trilogy? I don't think so. Because I took it for what it's worth...words on paper bound together to whisk me away for awhile. If one becomes so enraptured with the characters and plots of a book or movie to the point he/she can't separate that from their own reality...then there's a need to be very discerning with entertainment selections. Furthermore, I'd be looking at it as an opportunity to evaluate what my life focus is...because throwing yourself into a movie or book to the point you can't step back means you're looking to escape to a false reality and not acknowledging your own. I'm just tired of all the judgements being thrown around about the books in general, the author, and the people who do choose to read it, yet they haven't read it themselves. Stop freaking obsessing about it and either decide TO read it or NOT to read it, but whatever you decide...make it your choice based on YOUR values, beliefs, and intelligence, not on hearsay from an unqualified source. From a literary standpoint, not the greatest writing ever...but hey, that's my opinion. Then again, I've actually read it...
